...I am colorblind...coffee black and egg white...pull me out from inside...I am ready... I am taffy stuck and tongue tied...stutter shook and uptight...pull me out from inside...I am ready...I am fine... I am covered in skin...no one gets to come in...pull me out from inside...I am folded and unfolded and unfolding... I am colorblind...coffee black and egg white...pull me out from inside...I am ready...I am fine...
Today
Sunday February 18th 2001
_______________________________________
Lyrics: "Colorblind" Counting Crows This Desert LifeWebcam Image:
News/Updates: Main page update todayThe List (just what i'm thinking about...) : 1. Alan.
2. Sleep... I'm going on like 4 hours after a heavy night of partying.
3. Certain people... like Andy...
5. Trying to better my life.
6. Keg beer, I can drink keg beer like it's water or something.
7. Gossips.
8. High school kids.
9. My newly cleaned room and it re-arranged it, it's so much more comfortable right now.
10. "Colorblind" by the Counting Crows, it's such a beautiful song.
11. I'm not going out at all this week, not until Friday. I'm just working and going to school, all week.
12. Alan.
13. I smoked way too many cigarettes in the past 3 days.
Thoughts: I'm so incredibly exhausted. I'm about to go pass out as soon as I update this. Norm had a crazy party last night, it was so fucked up. I saw like 80 people that I hadn't seen since graduation. People, I used to talk to allt he time who totally changed, people that Norm didn't even like in high school. It was fucked up. And you know what I noticed, the high school girls wouldn't drink beer. I never drank beer in high school, it wasn't until I got to college, when the easiest thing, the cheapest thing, and the quickest way to get drunk was to drink some beer. And boy did I drink some beer last night. The cops even busted the party, and I whorphed. I rarely get sick like that, funny thing was that I was perfectly fine after I puked, like I got a second-wind or something. Usually I just want to pass out after I get sick.I've really come to find some of the things my friends do a bit embarrasing or annoying. Well two mostly. The need to lie, everything has to be a lie to cover up how they might feel about one person, or something someone else said. It's all fucked up. I want to eliminate all the stress in my life, and the best way to do that I think would to eliminate all the lies. STep one. ALso I hate the fact that we're probably the people who cause a lot of trouble. I'm usually good about these things, but sometimes, it catches me in it. And I hate that. I hate seeing a friend hurt by information that one of my other friends thought he should know, yet she's not even sure of the exact details of the situation. I mean what do you do in a situation like that? Tell your friend, his girlfriends, claims to love our goodfriend, or sit back and let her lie to him and eventually hurt him or something. Fucked up.
I thought the best way to try and get over Alan was to jump back into the dating scene. Whatever dating scene is in fucking Eastpointe, Michigan. I find myself thinking about guys I already know, or have already been with. I guess, well not all of them, but a few of the guys I've been with, have been great friends. I don't know. Right now, I miss Alan. A lot. A whole lot.
I'm going to go to bed...